Waiting

Waiting…

So I’m in this waiting game. Well it’s not a game… it is waiting on God to do what He is going to do and trying to be faithful to Him in the meantime.

Waiting is not just sitting around doing nothing while God is doing all the work. No actually it is hard work to wait. To not try and fix things myself is hard. To not jump into what I think needs to happen is hard work. To trust God for the very next step is hard work. To live in “believing” and not in doubt is hard work. To speak life and not death over what is happening is hard work. The living day by day not know the what, where, how and when is hard work.

While waiting is hard, there is a peace in letting God do the work. And knowing that whatever happens He will work it for my good (Rom 8:28) has peace in it. There is peace in believing He has a plan and is working it all out. But it is hard to keep believing when things happen that doesn’t look like they are flowing toward the goal you think is in the future. It is hard work when it doesn’t come as fast as you think it should. It is hard work when doubt creeps in and slaps you upside the head.

So what does God have to say about it?

Lamentations 3:24

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

Isaiah 64:4

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

Isaiah 30:18

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 40:1

 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

1 Corinthians 4:5

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

Hebrews 6:15

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

In a previous writing I spoke of Abraham’s promise to become the father of many nations. He was old, dried up, and Sara was unable to have children, yet… God gave Abraham what He promised.

So while I sit here and evaluate… I know I must wait. I can either wait on God and live in peace… or I can wait in anguish and try to figure things out and live in constant turmoil.

It is my choice on how I wait.

I love the song by John Waller “While I’m Waiting” from the movie Fireproof. It speaks so much of what I feel.

Trust

I had wrote in an earlier post that God had given me Romans 12 to read almost daily for several months. Lately it has been impressed upon me that I need to be in Romans 4.

I struggle with feeling worthy. I believe this has a lot to do with a lifelong dream I’ve had that has not been brought into reality.

I’ve had to realize that my worthiness is not in what I want in life, but who I am. And by saying “Who I am” I mean who I am in Christ and who I am because of Christ.

This is where Romans 4 comes in to play. Abraham was just an ordinary guy who was old and couldn’t have kids, but God called him to be something beyond himself. What made Abraham such a tool for God to use is trust. Abraham trusted God!

I LOVE this line in the MSG version…

…But the story we’re given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story. What we read in Scripture is, “Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.”  (1-3)

God called Abraham, but Abraham trusted God before, get that, before anything happened in his life. And then Abraham “underwent circumcision as evidence and confirmation” before God gave Abraham the family God had promised him.

“That famous promise God gave Abraham—that he and his children would possess the earth—was not given because of something Abraham did or would do. It was based on God’s decision to put everything together for him, which Abraham then entered when he believed…” (13-15)

“This is why the fulfillment of God’s promise depends entirely on trusting God and his way, and then simply embracing him and what he does. God’s promise arrives as pure gift...” (16)

I so much need this! I don’t have to be found worthy in order to receive wholeness. It is by faith and trust and embracing God for what He does I am to be found “Worthy” and then God can give me, as pure gift, what He knows the desire of my heart is.

“…Abraham was first named “father” and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do.” (17-18)

I have felt so dead that I would have never thought I could be brought back to life, but as in Ezekiel He is bringing these dry bones back to life. God is making something out of nothing in my life. He can do the same with yours. Abraham could have been hopeless, he believed anyway. Not because he saw something, but because he trusted God and didn’t live in the hopeless. He lived with hope.

“Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said. That’s why it is said, “Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right.” But it’s not just Abraham; it’s also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God.” (19-25)

I love that, “He plunged into the promise…” How many times do I plunge into anything, much less, something I have no clue on how, why, when or where it is going to happen. NOT! I might tiptoe in, but not plung!

So if Abraham can trust God and God made him the father of great nations… then why can’t I trust God to make my life worthy of His greatness? And let me tell you, He is doing it! He is doing it! He is doing it!

I am so grateful, so thankful, so blessed! I look forward to seeing how he accomplishes the impossible. It’s a God-story, not a Christy-story! I just get to live it and see what happens!

Hope

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.

Sermon today was on hope.

My statement “I’m afraid to hope!”

Pastor Ron’s cocktail of lost hope:

          Unfulfilled expectations

          Fear that God will or has abandoned me

          Doubt that God can or will make a difference

          Anger over the position that I am in

          Unbelief and cynicism creeping in

I have felt all of these!

I don’t believe I’m worth having a relationship.

I have lost the hope that God really does have someone for me.

I don’t feel like I am “dateable.”

But God

He is working in my life.

He is healing places I didn’t know hurt.

He is bringing people around me that love me.

He is speaking truth into my life.

He is faithful.

He is worthy.

He is opening up my heart for possibilities.

He has shown me with so many “coincidences” that He has handpicked someone for me.

Can I trust Him?

Yes I know I can!

Do I have the tools to fight the enemy’s lies?

Yes I do!

Do I know what is going to happen?

No, but I do know that God has healed my broken heart before, and I know that He will use whatever I go thru for His Glory!

I am His!

And if my dream comes true, He will use that too.

And I will be forever grateful that He decided to give me the love of a Godly man.

Until then, I will Trust Him. I will serve Him. I will wait!

Thank you Lord!

The word God gave me for this year was "Courageous" and the verse He has been giving me is the 12th chapter in Romans. 

I knew this year was going to be a year of change. 

I knew this year was going to have some do or die choices.

I knew this year was going to be challenging.

I knew this year was going to be life changing.

I knew this year God was going to do Miracles.

I had no idea that what God has in store for me is beyond my belief. I always thought that it always happens to other people but not me... 

I. Am. Blown. Away. 

I have no idea what is going to take place. How it is going to happen. When it is going to happen. But I know it is happening! 

click, click, click, chink, chink, the pieces are falling into place. The safe is about to be opened. The clicks are falling into place and starting to resound into deeper places. Another day, another piece. A week later it is that closer to opening the safe. It is not open yet, but it is getting closer.

God you are amazing! Eph 3:20(MSG) God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

My ALL

A week ago I wrote this on a fb post...

Okay, so I've been in the Word more this week. It is changing me and there are already things happening in my life. BUT, I watched my Favorite movie tonight and it brought something new to my attention... Am I Giving My All To God? Am I Laying It All On The Field? Am I Holding Anything Back From Him?... That answer would be NO! I'm not giving to Him my everything, I am holding back from Him. I still fear rejection. I still don't think I'm worthy. I still go through life not living Fully Alive.

I am not saying these things for me, but to challenge You. Are you giving Everything to Him? If so, Fantastic! If not, come beside me walk with me. I want God to have complete control over my life! Even If...

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:26-28 

And here it is a week and a day later and I am struggling to keep this my priority. My brain keeps wandering to the things I want and desire. I specifically believe God is impressing on me to keep Him the focus and He will make me "attractive" and "desirable" to the one He wants me to be with. How much I so want to take over and do things my way. How do I stop this ingrained control? 

I want Him to be my ALL! My EVERYTHING! My every DESIRE! Yet I feel so powerless to control my thoughts. Even as I write this I feel Him taking over control. I ask forgiveness during service this morning and felt that healing balm seep into my soul. So I come before you Lord again, Please forgive me for allowing my thoughts and desires to envelope my day to push Your Presence aside. Lord I want You! You are my Lord!

It doesn't matter if or when there is ever a man that can love me. You are ALL I need! Please protect my mind to be the mind of Christ. 

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp... stretching me, waking me up, breaking me, molding me, challenging me.

Quote "God is always good and I am always loved" pg 100

"Everything is eucharisteo." (Grace, Thanksgiving, Joy)

"Because eucharisteo is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things--take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness. I have glimpsed it; This, the hard eucharisteo. The hard discipline to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty. The hard discipline to give thanks for all things at all times because He is all good. The hard discipline to number the griefs as grace because as the surgeon would cut open my son's finger to heal him, so God chooses to cut into my ungrateful heart to make me whole." pg 100/101

Make me whole Lord. Even if it hurts. Help me Lord to be faithful, to be grateful, to have joy and be full of grace.

Two people gave me a word today.
Person #1 as I walked in the door of church... God has got something for you today. (definatly paraphrased)

Person #2 after church while talking to friends when meeting one of their friends... God will do what he has promised you he would, I have to do what I'm suppose to do and He will complete it.

Oh yeah, a word was given to the church that fits as well... God has not forgotten the call that He has called you to. If that call may gotten off track, but it is still there.

All of these are words that I have been needing. I still have a call on my life and I know it, but where I'm at seems "weird" for a forward motion on that call.

I also sponsered a child today. CryofIndia.org If I am not able to adopt right now at least I can sponser one. I hope God will change her world. He has changed mine!

I love You Lord!