Beauty of Heaven

On BLT Midmorning show the topic of the day was “What season would you like to extend for a month…” Many people called, emailed or facebooked their opinion of this question. One pondering was about what heaven would be like…

So as I read my study guide for the women’s fellowship class I’m in attending. I came across a verse in Rev 10:5-7 that spoke of “There will no longer be an interval of time,” so the thought came to mind from the earlier conversation this week…

What if we experience ALL seasons at once…

The beauty of the leaves turning all reds, oranges and yellow’s.

The gorgeous flowers of tulips, roses, lilacs, and sunflowers.

The deep green of the fresh new grass.

The stalk beauty of a bare branched tree standing tall.

The surprise of a fresh new leaf growing from one of those branches.

The fresh new snow fall covering parts of the ground, but wait, there is a bright purple flower poking out.

And look up again and there is a bright red maple tree with a white blanket of snow under it.

Think about it…

Would we ever get tired of the beauty of Heaven?

And don’t forget the sparkle of jewels.

Look in that creek and see the deep tones of jewels, shiny and perfect, under the water and the water is so clear that the depth is unknown.

Add a few sparkles of rubies in that maple tree, the reflection shining on the fresh snow.

I am positive that we could never imagine how much beauty our hearts can take.

Mine is expanding with just the thought of it.

"Let Me in..."

“This is the one I’ve chosen for you.”

That was the beginning of an end.

I sought answers.

I came up with very few.

So many coincidences. Stuff that wasn’t made up. Stuff that meant something. Some being redemption of a past loss.

A relationship with someone who “got me.”

Exciting. Comfortable. Fun.

I kept being cautious telling God that “I could fall for this guy.”

“Take him away if He isn’t from You.”

But he was still there.

Day after day. Month after month.

Yet he never let me in his life…

He wouldn’t tell his family about me

I didn’t meet his friends

I wasn’t a part of his life.

He would shut me out.

He kept me on the surface never letting me in deep.

He didn’t go out of his way to see me

He rarely asked me out.

But when we were together I felt like I was important to him.

Everyday he texted me.

He said he cared.

He told me I was beautiful.

But he never let me inside his thoughts.

Inside his heart.

So is that the way we are with God?

Do we allow Him to touch the surface but never let Him in deep?

Do we open our hearts, thoughts and lives to Him?

God pursues us first.

How far do we go to pursue Him?

Do we invite Him to our family?

Do we tell our friends all about Him?

Do we give Him our deep desires or just keep Him on the surface?

I desired a deeper relationship with him.

I ended up empty.

With a dream.

A hope.

And nothing to show for it.

No relationship.

No love.

A broken heart.

So when God pursues me…

He desires a deeper relationship.

He often ends up empty.

With a dream.

A hope.

And nothing to show for it.

No relationship.

No love.

A broken heart.

Because I don’t let Him in.

I shut Him out.

I’ll give Him this or that but I don’t allow it to go deep.

How long would I have kept waiting for him to invite me in his life?

How long will God keep waiting for me to invite Him into my life?

Worry Box

Matthew 6:25-34 (NLT)
25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a]above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

So as I am trying to figure out what my part of what went wrong in this brokenness, I find myself realizing how much I worry.
About everything…

I never really thought I did that.

Surprise.

So now what do I do? I pull up Joyce Meyer on you tube and listen. She said the answer to anything is to be in the Word of God. To study. To write. To learn. To fight.

Matt 6:25
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life…

Whoopsie.

And later in that passage I find it is really interesting that these verses come right after each other… coincidence… I think not.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

I was shown this verse early in this relationship and took note of it but didn’t put it into action. I didn’t see the second part. Ugh.

So here I am months later seeing it like it was the first time. How do I quit worrying??? Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. Speaking of food, clothes, and I believe life in itself.

I have been in such a state of worry that I have not enjoyed life. I didn’t enjoy the friendship, the dating, the fun of a relationship because I was so worried he wouldn’t like me, or he would like me or how to do this or am I enough for him or why doesn’t he… why does this not look like… who am I to him… and now it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t care about me like that anymore.

It takes a broken heart to teach me.
It takes a slap in the face to get me to hear.
It takes a dream crushed to see.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, 
and live righteously, 
and he will give you everything you need. 
So don’t worry about tomorrow, 
for tomorrow will bring its own worries. 
Today’s trouble is enough for today.

To put this in to practice I decided that I will make a worry box. I happen to have a basket that will work perfectly for this. I will write any worry I am having at any given time and put it in the box. Everything in the box belongs to God. I can’t take it back. It is His.

Funny thing is I started to write a list of them down and do you think I could think of one?? Nope. But I did start with one later as I was thinking (worrying) about something. I did write it down. And I looked at it. And shed a tear. And a few minutes later I felt lighter…

And tonight I felt good. Had a good conversation. Did some cleaning. Cut flowers. Smiled. And am writing this. Mmmmm. Sounds like something is working. 

Even when…

Romans 8:28 (ESV)

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

I don’t know why things happened the way they did.

I don’t know why He told me “This is the one I’ve chosen for you…”

I don’t know why He gave me so many confirmations.

I don’t know why He didn’t answer the prayers of “if he is not the one, shut the door…”

I repeatedly said to Him that my heart could fall for this guy, take him away if he is not from You.

I sought the Lord…

His answer was for me to wait

The questions I had, the things that didn’t make sense, the disappointments, the lack of responses, the silence, the shut outs, the exclusions, the red flags, the anger at questions, , ,

I sought Him for answers…

Day after day he was still there.

So I fell…

          And a year and a half later…

                   He dumped me…

And now I hurt.

Things I know:

There is a purpose

He is breaking something off my life. Like a pruning.

His plan is always better than mine

He works all things for good to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

He has a plan for me, a plan for good and not evil, a plan to prosper me and not harm me.

He is always faithful.

I will love Him even if…

I know I sought the Lord in this.

I know what He told me.

I was very cautious.

I worked thru the infatuation stage knowing my responses were heightened

I looked, searched, and tried to dig to see the truth.

I was still fooled.

Now I’m confused.

And hurt.

And angry.

And sad.

And lonely, again, still…

Dreams are shattered, again.

Heart is broken, again.

So now I seek the Lord to find out why? What now? Did I hear wrong? Why doesn’t anybody want me? What did I do wrong? What is wrong with me?

And what do I hear??? “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Comfort, Peace, Hope floods in. Tears subside.

I hear it again “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Thank you Lord!

Thank you Lord!

Thank you!

My song for the day started with I still believe by Jeremy Camp then this one played…

 Walk by Faith by Jeremy Camp

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace 

That is for me today…

I may be broken, but I still see His face

Oh these words say so much!

So I will wait now for His healing.

I will try to give praise in my sorrow.

I have forgiven and will continue to do so.

I will pray for him and truly wish the best for him.

I will grieve and then I will not.

I will learn how to be alone again.

I will live and walk and talk and pursue His dream for my life.

And I will LOVE… Even when it hurts, again.

Live like it...

I stand I stand in awe of you

I stand I stand in awe of you

To whom all praise is due

I stand in awe of you.

Jesus Calling devotional today…

I AM TAKING CARE OF YOU. Trust me at all times. Trust me in all circumstances. Trust Me with all your heart. When you are weary and everything seems to be going wrong, you can still utter these four words: “I trust You, Jesus.” By doing so, you release matters into My control, and you fall back into the security of My everlasting arms.

Before you arise from your bed in the morning, I have already arranged the events of your day. Every day provides many opportunities for you to learn My ways and grow closer to Me. Signs of My Presence brighten even the dullest day when you have eyes that really see. Search for Me as for hidden treasure. I will be found by you.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemy before you, saying, “Destroy him!” Deuteronomy 33:27

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “And will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:13-14

In exodus 34 it talks about how Moses would spend time with God and his face would glow with the Glory of the Lord so much so that Moses had to wear a veil to cover his face. To me this is the awe we sing about. Only I really don’t think we would be able to stand literally but only figuratively standing in belief that God is working even if we don’t see the evidence of it.

The more time we spend in His presence the more our face and lives shine with His Glory as well. I have fallen away from quality time and I truly miss that.

Again, I find myself living by my feelings. I have been putting my desires ahead of my time with Him.

How do we keep balanced in our lives?

Word—stay in it!! Every day!!

Pray—intentional about everything!!

Do—be faithful to Him by doing the best you can every day.

Don’t put life or things or people before God. He is your number one priority.

Romans 12:1-2 msg

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Your life is an offering to Him. Live like it…

Learning

So this past year I’ve had the privilege to learn about myself in new ways.

I learned how debris from my failed marriage still haunts me.

I’ve learned that any story of my life is not like anybody else’s story and that is okay.

I’ve learned that I have to keep God my first pursuit and all else must come after. I’ve learned how much I need forgiveness.

I’ve learned that trust is hard when everything from my view looks deceiving if stop and pull back and look at it from a different perspective an issue can have a whole different meaning.

I’ve learned to lean on God and trust Him to fix things.

I’ve learned that when God gives you a word He gave it cause sometimes that is the only thing you have to stand on when everything else looks opposing.

I’ve learned to stand on what He impresses on me because He really is working to fulfill my dreams.

I’ve learned He hasn’t forgotten me.

I’ve learned He wants me to experience a fraction of the intimacy He desires to have with me.

I’ve learned that I can’t make plans or have expectations because His timing is so much better and disappointments from my self-generated expectations hurt.

I’ve learned that love isn’t emotion, or companionship or dates or fantasies.

I’ve learned that I may not have tomorrow.

I‘ve learned that I need to live life today.

I’ve learned that my drop in the bucket can cause ripple effects.

I’ve learned that encouragement is life.

I’ve learned a lot this year. It has not been easy. It has not always been good. But God always uses my life to teach me. He always turns my struggle into His victory.

Romans 8:28 (MSG)

^26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good

Jeremiah 29:11-14a (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.

Thank you Lord for teaching me! 

Waiting

Waiting…

So I’m in this waiting game. Well it’s not a game… it is waiting on God to do what He is going to do and trying to be faithful to Him in the meantime.

Waiting is not just sitting around doing nothing while God is doing all the work. No actually it is hard work to wait. To not try and fix things myself is hard. To not jump into what I think needs to happen is hard work. To trust God for the very next step is hard work. To live in “believing” and not in doubt is hard work. To speak life and not death over what is happening is hard work. The living day by day not know the what, where, how and when is hard work.

While waiting is hard, there is a peace in letting God do the work. And knowing that whatever happens He will work it for my good (Rom 8:28) has peace in it. There is peace in believing He has a plan and is working it all out. But it is hard to keep believing when things happen that doesn’t look like they are flowing toward the goal you think is in the future. It is hard work when it doesn’t come as fast as you think it should. It is hard work when doubt creeps in and slaps you upside the head.

So what does God have to say about it?

Lamentations 3:24

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

Isaiah 64:4

Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

Isaiah 30:18

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 40:1

 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

1 Corinthians 4:5

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

Hebrews 6:15

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

In a previous writing I spoke of Abraham’s promise to become the father of many nations. He was old, dried up, and Sara was unable to have children, yet… God gave Abraham what He promised.

So while I sit here and evaluate… I know I must wait. I can either wait on God and live in peace… or I can wait in anguish and try to figure things out and live in constant turmoil.

It is my choice on how I wait.

I love the song by John Waller “While I’m Waiting” from the movie Fireproof. It speaks so much of what I feel.